Herding Unwilling Cats

I'm getting really frustrated with coven people. It's really hard to get an answer out of anyone. We (Amaranthea and I) proposed to the group that we might want to make Lady Incendia an arbor for Natale, and we asked each person to contribute ideas of what they would like to see on the arch itself insofar as decorations/sigils/symbols/etc.

Everyone was given a deadline of December 5th to get this into me. No one did. Not even Amareanthea, who that Thursday emailed me that she was going to be doing the sketches for her ideas and scan them to me.

So I sent out an e-mail yesterday reminding everyone that the sketches and ideas needed to be into me on the 5th. The only one who's responded back was Rubesca, who said she was sick and hadn't had a chance to work on it. Now, I know she's not been sick since our last meeting, so it's just a bad excuse. She's had almost a month to work on something, which I even told people could include just a listing of images and ideas they'd like to see on the arbor.

Corvus hasn't responded to any of my e-mails. He said he was going to try to get hold of Don Draconus. I have not heard from him yet as to whether or not he has done this.

Pantera doesn't respond to any e-mails unless they are pointedly directed at her. She doesn't often respond to e-mails that are sent to the group.

And Kelin just doesn't seem to be too concerned. She's going to classes, and participating in ritual, but I'm convinced she's doing this because her mom has her doing it. She doesn't have a lot of "participation" logged -- she never responds to e-mails asking for ideas. She tends to "coattail" on Mom, mostly due to Mom's attitude. Kelin didn't give me money for the arbor - Amaranthea gave me for her and Kelin. And while Kelin gives a unique view - a more innocent view - on what we're studying, I honestly don't get the vibe from her that her energy's really into it. She's squishing coven work in between socializing and school and SAT's and whatnot. I think she's too distracted to really focus on what's going on. Which is a shame, because she's a good artist and I think she'd have a lot of good ideas to contribute to the group. She just doesn't volunteer them because mom will be there to lend her input.

I think part of the problem is that the bulk of the group will only get motivated if the request comes from Lady Incendia. Even Amaranthea, with her bearish grip on the group (who, at times, seem afraid that they will upset her -- fragile ego that she has and all that) can't get them motivated to get going on the project.

It's going to end up being my designwork, incorporating some of Amaranthea's ideas, and ultimately have Lady Incendia's input... but paid for from the group. Their energy isn't in this farther than writing a check. And I think that's really wrong.

This is supposed to be a present for our High Priestess. If they can't drum up enough energy to sit down and think "Hrm, what do I think would be appropriate for the arch" for *HER*... then I don't know how to motivate them.

Dream Thoughts

I've been thinking about Amaranthea's dreams, and I'm thinking that she might not have gotten the full message that Shadow was trying to give her.

Her dreams were filled with images of home - that feeling of home from long ago. They have digging into the ground - both in regards to the actual digging and with the basement. And they have new beginnings - with the new kittens that appeared in her dreams.

I think that the "digging" and basements would indicate the Underworld. They would indicate death and passings. But it was death at home.

I believe that Shadow might have been trying to tell her that she was home, that he would always be with her, but that he had to move on to allow new energy to come into her life. I still think it's very sad that she had to put him down, and I definately played with my kitties last night an awful lot.

Shadow's Passing

Amaranthea called me this afternoon to let me know she had put Shadow down. I felt so bad. I didn't have words to make her feel better. Shadow's been her pet for 11 years, she said, and has been also working as her familiar. Shadow's been really sick for the last few months. No amount of medication or IV meds have made him better. An x-ray shows he had water in his lungs and his heart had atrophied. She'd have had to take him to a kitty cardiologist for more help. And $500+ later, the only thing they'd be able to do, probably, is to tell you what your cat was dying of.

It's sad. I can't imagine how much it would hurt to have watched your cat be so sick and then not be able to do anything to make him better. Part of why I'm so glad I have the kitty insurance that I do - so that the doctor's bills will hopefully not hit sky-high if there's ever a problem. That's also part of the reason I keep them indoors. Less of a chance of something happening.

But, as Shadow was her familiar, she was expecting to feel "something" when she finally put him down. And she said that she didn't feel anything. No pulling away of energy. No sudden gap in the energy around her. Just nothing. I thought maybe it's been because Shadow has been pulling away slowly that she didn't feel the sudden shift. Shadow *HAS* been very sick for a while. And she's been asking him to let her know it's time to put him down. And all she's been dreaming about is cats. Weird cat dreams. Nothing that firmly told her he felt it was his time to go. But then, she's been dreaming about getting new kittens... and digging in the dirt outside her house up north.... and cats living in the basement... and strange dr. seuss-esque cats. Maybe it was disjointed, but he *was* telling her that she was his home, but it was time for her to move on.

So she's going to craft up a ritual for him tonight. Then she and the family will be burying him in their back yard. She asked that I light a candle for him tonight and make sure to hug my kitties.

Which, of course, I will be doing, in abundance.

It's very sad. First Lady Incendia lost her cat just before Shadowfest. Now Amaranthea lost her cat just before Natale. Is there some feline energy that is slowly regressing? Retreating to the Underworld to be reborn? Is there more that they can do for us on the other side?